If you were raised among college graduates who only spoke grammatically correct English at home, you have an advantage above the majority of us, who grew up speaking local slang. We had to be taught in school, and some of the rules have either been missed or forgotten. That’s the only way to explain why novelists, song writers, and speakers aren’t always our best models for getting our words right.
Many have a difficult time deciding whether to use the pronoun “I” or “me” when it follows a noun. Do we say, “Jane and me,” or is it “Jane and I”? Some professionals aren’t embarrassed at using “I” all the time, thinking that’s the rule.
Use the pronoun me—as well as us, him, her, you, and them—when it is the object of a verb or preposition.
- Fiona smiled and kissed me.
- John gave the book to me.
Use the pronoun I—as well as we, he, she, you, and they—when it is the subject of a verb.
- I smiled and kissed Fiona.
- I gave the book to John.
When a noun is joined to the subject or object, people become confused and might make these incorrect statements:
- Fiona smiled and kissed Bob and I.
- John gave the book to Susan and I.
- Bob and me kissed Fiona.
- Susan and me gave the book to John.
If you’re confused, take out the noun, choose the correct pronoun, and put the noun back into your sentence.
Thank you! I get so tired of hearing folks use “__ and I” when the objective case is appropriate. It’s as though they were corrected so often in their youth for using “__ and me” instead of the subjective, that the only thing that burned in was the “and I” — not the reason for its use.