Your best writing engages readers in the drama of the story so much that they see the action without noticing your words. This is especially true in dialogue, yet many professional writers persist in using burdensome attributions.
You may find bestselling novelists writing sentences like this:
● “Thank you,” Janet replied appreciatively.
● “It was not,” John objected emphatically.
● “People aren’t computers,” Fred observed insightfully.
When Janet said thank you, didn’t we know her words were an appreciative reply? John’s words were obviously an emphatic rejection, so adding “objected emphatically” is redundant. Readers know from the dialogue that Fred made an insightful observation.
Contrary to what some writers suppose, the following sentences are better:
● “Thank you,” Janet said.
● “It was not,” John said.
● “People aren’t computers,” Fred said.
But wait. Isn’t the repetitive use of “said” something we should avoid? No, “said” is like the articles “a,” “an,” and “the.” “Said” can’t be overused because it is never noticed.
A verb other than “said” will be noticed, and that’s not the best choice. Consider these examples:
● “I don’t like that,” he grumbled.
● “You must agree,” Mary assumed.
● “It’s my word against his,” Jack noted.
We say words. We don’t “grumble,” “assume,” or “note” them. We don’t “laugh,” “smile,” or “mumble” words. In dialogue, use “said” 99 percent of the time, and rarely use “shouted” or “whispered,” which are used to vocalize words.
More than half of our communication comes through actions, expression, and tone of voice. So those areas can be used to identify the speaker, eliminating the need for “said.” For example:
● “Thank you.” Janet leaped from her chair and kissed Bill on the cheek.
● John shook his clenched fist at his friend. “It was not.”
● Fred frowned, looking defensive. “People aren’t computers.”
Follow this practice, and readers will pay more attention to your message, not noticing your words.
