Find a picture that represents your female character. Where is she? What is she thinking, feeling, and doing?
With a vivid picture, you can find great words.
If confused, your character may look away, shrug, or hesitate. After she clears her throat, her speech will likely slow and become lower in pitch and volume. If nervous, she might bite her fingernails, keep brushing her hair with her fingers, or fake a smile.
Be careful not to describe too much.
For your point-of-view character, you can’t describe what she can’t see. You’re limited to her thoughts, speech, and actions, with as little explanation as possible. Your observed characters can’t be described beyond what she can see, hear, and interpret, but that’s not all. You should not describe more than what interests your main character at that moment. Anything more will dull, not sharpen the picture.
Make descriptions precise.
Over-description obscures the picture rather than enhancing it. Consider these examples:
- Janet set her four-inch thick black leather briefcase on her spotless, polished mahogany desk.
- Sam’s eyes rested on the tall, thin blue-eyed woman wearing a white blouse, short black skirt, and red stiletto heels.
- Peter gave a quick sidelong glance through the ornate cut-outs in the tall wall covered with ivy to see the children on the merry-go-round in the city park.
If these people were a main character in one of your scenes, much of this information would be obvious to the character and therefore unimportant. For Janet, all that’s important is what she does with her briefcase. Sam can’t see his eyes resting. Can he see the color of her eyes? That’s doubtful. And he probably doesn’t care about the color of the woman’s clothing. With Peter, readers can’t distinguish the difference between a glance, a quick glance, and a sidelong glance. His observation has way too much detail to be taken in the short time of a glance. So here’s what might be better:
- Janet slammed her briefcase onto her desk.
- Sam stared at the long-legged woman in the short skirt and stiletto heels.
- Through the cutouts in the ivy-covered wall, Peter watched the children on the merry-go-round.
Do you see how fewer words can intensify focus on what really matters? By forcing your perspective into the view and desires of the main character and by limiting your observation, thoughts, and reactions to only your concerns at that moment, you make what matters to you matter to your readers.
