Let all the senses—sight, hearing, touch, smell, and taste—cause your character’s world to make sense to your readers. One of the best ways to create vivid pictures is to ask yourself, What was it like?
We might easily describe what we saw and what we heard, but we brighten the picture and intensify the color by asking, What did it look like? What did it sound like? Such questions search for how our character is affected by what is seen and heard.
To further expand your character’s world, ask, How did it feel? What did it smell like? How did it taste?
Use comparisons and analogies.
While like may be the most overused and misused word in modern culture, comparisons are what we desperately need to bring life to a scene. When Jesus referred to Herod as a fox, a single word said a lot about the cunning king’s nature.
For an imagined condition, you might use “as if.” He looked as if . . . She felt as if . . . Another great comparison word is “than.” The storm was bigger than . . . The girl was prettier than . . . The sky was darker than . . .
For a comparison to be effective, it must fit the context of the scene. Ask yourself, If I’m the character describing this situation, what would I say? So the child cried. What was it like? Saying the character was attentive, disappointed, or surprised is a judgment, but showing what it was like lets readers create the emotion within themselves.
The goal is not to be clever or cute. You want comparisons that perfectly fit the character at that moment.
- Charlie folded and tucked it away like a secret treasure map.
- These were grown men enjoying life like ten-year-olds playing at recess.
- Sir William bawled like a child who had lost his mother in the shopping mall.
- His expression was like someone whose full-house poker hand had been beaten by four aces.
